Day 149 of (Pretty Much) Staying the Fuck Inside

Lazy-ish Sunday, after attempts to run errands yesterday were met with too many people being out and about, and not respecting distance.

Downtown Santa Rosa has been closed off to vehicular access on 4th Street. The restaurants have expanded seating out into the road, and have done an admirable job in making things pleasant. Dining areas are more than distant from each other, and surrounded by fences made of pallets. People were generally well behaved there. I had run into Treehorn Books to pick up a novel by Fernando Arrabal – The Tower Struck by Lightning.

I once owned this, but it was lost long ago, unread. I’m feeling a need to read it, finally. I’d first encountered Arrabal in college, having directed a production of his play …And They Put Handcuffs on the Flowers. I’d love to stage another production of this, one day. But, if I’m begin honest with myself, it’s unlikely to happen.

Years later, – YEARS later, after I’d discovered Jodorowsky, I was surprised/not surprised to find that they were friends, and he’d directed a notorious stage and film production of Arrabal’s play, Fando and Lis. The universe circles back, and circles back again. And now, once again, it’s Arrabal time.

Anyway, Downtown Santa Rosa wasn’t really the problem. Things only got excessively people-y after that.

Emotions have been ebbing and flowing over the last several days. The nightmares have returned, and I’m woken up frequently. Sleep has been a problem the last few nights.

Overall, there are multiple levels of cognitive disconnect. Sonoma County’s numbers are still really low, all things, considered. This is not to discount the severity of the situation, but it could. be. worse. Much worse.

California, however, is continuing to spike. As is the country. Coupled with this is the continued Earth scorching by the executive branch of the federal government. and I’m now at the point where my twice-daily doom scrolling is probably going to have to be ratcheted back further.

Except my need to protect the family then pushes me to the point of needing-to-be-aware of what’s going on.

Add in a dash of not being comfortable with the fact that I’m getting comfortable looking at case numbers and death tolls like they were weather conditions, and the self-recriminations that come with that.

One welcome diversion right now is hockey, and so far I’m impressed with how the NHL has been handling all of this. Of course it helped, too, that the Caps won today.

Currently reading The Castle by Franz Kafka. Arrabal will probably be next.

I want to believe that one day all of this will be over, and things will return to some kind of normal. The question is, will any of us have the sanity left to handle it?