Day 403 of Staying the Fuck Inside
Long ago, a former version of me took an interest in a certain Mr. Aleister Crowley.
I can trace this interest back to high school, when there was practically nothing one could easily obtain by him (I grew up in suburban Maryland, in the 80s, and the best you could hope for was sneaking peeks in The Satanic Bible and the Necronomicon at Waldenbooks when nobody was looking. Don’t worry – I discovered Heavy Metal magazine, eventually).
Anyway, my college library had copies of Book 4, and Magick in Theory and Practice, both of which were pretty indecipherable at the time, and made me feel like one of Lovecraft’s protagonists.
Later on, there was an abundance of Crowley titles being reissued, and I built up a somewhat respectable library. I fancied myself all-in for A.C., and if only I could make contact with the O.T.O., I would be a supreme badass, meet my HGA, and live by my Will. None of these things happened, of course, and by the time I did make any kind of contact with the O.T.O., it was too little, too late. Plus, as a grad student needing money, I’d sold off most of my Crowley library. I’d become disillusioned with a lot of things, and my occult interests became considerably “quieter” in terms of scope.
You don’t really need to know what my occult interests are these days. If I told you, they wouldn’t be that “occult,” now would they?
In any event, I’ve been feeling the pull of nostalgia, and have felt the urge to revisit Uncle Al. He died on my birthday, so I’ve always noted that connection with amusement. Lo, and behold, a large percentage of my previous A.C. collection has gone out of print, and is going for stupid amounts of money. So, I’ve decided to revisit a few titles – ones that aren’t way overpriced.
I have no idea what’s fueling this nostalgia.
I am no longer all-in for A.C. I am not interested in any of the organizations that he was involved with. I do find him an entertaining writer (but then again Freud makes me laugh, so I’m weird), but ultimately as much as he may be a fun place to visit, I don’t want to live there.
Should have a few of his titles arriving over the next day or two, but after that, I plan on going back to my regular programming.