Day 309 of Staying the Fuck Inside

The crows have returned.

Last year, we had a major decrease in our crow population. The sizable murder that usually hung out in the neighborhood dropped down to a family unit or two. While I was certainly concerned, I figured with some of their major food sources being dried up (namely the schools in the neighborhood who used to have outdoor lunches), that perhaps they’d gone elsewhere.

The last week or so, however, has brought them back in full force. I’ve missed their endless chatter during the days, and we now have two feeding stations set up. Peanuts downstairs, and dry cat food upstairs.

I find myself struggling with the day-to-day. This began around day 300 or so, and the events of January 6th (which would have been around day 300 or so) have contributed to my anxiety? depression? I’m not even sure what to call it. I just know that I’m Tired as Fuck of Staying the Fuck Inside.

But we continue.

Amanda has a tendency to double-down at times when I’m ready to say “fuck it.” The most recent example of that is our adventure (now so long ago) with the Oakville Grade (of which the photo below is just a small portion of its insanity).

“No. Now it’s personal,” is what she usually says.And as much as I am feeling utterly run down of late, this is also how I feel. It’s personal now. No fucking way I’m letting this shit take us down. Not without a fight.

California’s numbers suck right now. We’re doing better than the bottom half of the state, but we’re also now dealing with the worst we’ve had it.

We have drastically reduced our “going out” footprint, and are now having everything delivered again. Tomorrow I’m going to clean the leaves off of the patio so we can at least sit outside periodically.

At this point, I don’t really know what else to say, other than what I’ve said a hundred times before.